Deep thoughts from Amy

WARNING: Infant loss mentioned (in this entry and the link posted). Figured you'd want to know ahead of time.

















Anyways, I read the blog little birdie, little bunny... - it's one of the blogs over there in my blog list. It's written by a mom who had planned a homebirth with her first child, birdie, who unfortunately passed away during labor. She transported during labor, had an emergency cesarean, but her baby had passed away. She just had another child, bunny, in September I believe... he's right around Caroline's age. Anyways, she just posted a couple of posts over the last couple of days which got me thinking, namely this one and this one. As you probably known, I'm a huge proponent of homebirth. Henry and Caroline were both born at home, and I truly believe that in most cases it is a safe option for healthy, low risk pregnant moms. When I first read her post, I wanted to comment, but I know that nothing I say will change her mind about homebirth. And I don't think it should be changed! I'm 99.99999% sure that if one of my children had passed away during labor at home, I'd be having any future children in a hospital. Unfortunately, not all hospitals are like the one she delivered her children in. For many women, it's not only a choice about location, it's a choice about having control. It's a choice about having what the research has shown to be best for baby in most cases - a labor which starts naturally. A labor which is not augmented with pitocin. Freedom to move around. Intermittent versus continuous fetal monitoring. A labor which is not dependent on the clock. Freedom to eat and drink during labor. In some hospitals, you can get all that, but not many hospitals, at least around here. The US has a cesarean rate of over 30%. One in three women have their babies via major abdominal surgery. No one can look me in the eye and tell me that one out of three women honestly cannot have a baby the old fashioned way. If that's so, it's a wonder the human race hasn't fallen off of the face of the planet. Anyways, I digress. It happens when I start talking about pregnancy and childbirth lol. So back to my thoughts about the posts. I kind of agree with her, to a point. I think women need to know ALL of the pros and cons of homebirth before they make a decision to have their baby at home. Usually, everything goes fine. Usually. Sometimes, it doesn't. Usually, when it doesn't go fine, there is a competent, trained midwife, like the midwife who caught Caroline and Henry, who can either deal with the problem, or knows that it is outside her scope and it is time to transport. Sometimes, there isn't. Women need to research their options, and decide what is best for them. For some, it's homebirth. For others, it's a hospital. I think my only problem with her posts is that it sounds like she's saying homebirth is never a safe option. I think what she's actually saying is that she wishes women who chose homebirth realize that things can go horribly, tragically wrong, and she's living proof. And it sounds callous when you face that reality head on and say "I know that babies die, but I'm still going to have mine at home." That sounds like you're cheapening her loss in a way. Like you want the experience more than the result. While I can't speak for everyone in the world who has a homebirth, I can speak for me. I said that. I know that babies die. I still wanted to have mine at home. I wrecked a car, in a big way, and STILL wanted to have my baby at home. When I write it out like that, it sounds really selfish. It wasn't, however. I wanted to have my baby at home because I had done all the research. I'd read everything I could get my hands on about homebirth, and hospital birth, and what could go wrong where. I knew that there was a chance, no matter how small it was, that my baby could die, but that small chance would be present at the hospital as well as home. I chose a midwife who I trust with my life, who is extremely knowledgeable, and who wouldn't hesitate to transport if it was necessary. And in the end, I felt in my heart that having my baby at home would be safer for both of us. And, I was one of the many women who had a safe, uneventful birth at home. I guess I'm lucky because of that. I don't think I could ever forgive myself if something had gone wrong and Caroline wasn't with us, but I think I'd feel that way if I had chosen a hospital birth, too. Anyways, I'm off on a tangent again. Someone said "Birth is as safe as life gets." I believe that, but I also believe that life isn't all that safe all the time. And the same goes for birth. I think I just hope that Birdie's mom understands that women who birth at home aren't doing it to be selfish, and they're not denying the fact that they could be in her shoes. They do it because they believe it's what is best for their baby. After all, isn't that what moms do? What is best for their children? I know I do, no matter how many times I joke about drugging them or duct taping them to the wall! My heart just breaks for Birdie's mom, and I wish no one, her included, would ever have to lose a child. So, if you're thinking about having a homebirth, make sure you do your research. Read her story. Read the statistics. Read about hospitals. Talk to other moms. Talk to midwives. Educate, educate, and educate yourself. And then do whatever it is that you feel is best for your child. And yes, a very pro homebirth mom is saying that! I'm the first to admit that if we all did the same thing the world would be a very boring place lol. And while I wish everyone would have a homebirth, or at the VERY least honestly consider it (I mean beyond the "oh, you can have a baby at home? huh, I didn't know that" consideration), I really think I'm on the same page as Birdie's mom when I say make an educated, informed decision.

And THAT would be Amy's random thoughts for the month. Don't expect another mega long blog post anytime soon!

Numbers

The other day Keith came in and asked to see the number on my stomach. I looked at him blankly and asked "number? What number?" and he said "you know, from when I lived in your stomach. What number is on your tummy?" I had no clue what he was talking about. So a day or so later he came in and said "Since Caroline was the third baby, did she put a number three on your stomach?" I, being the caring mom I am, said "what are you talking about? There are no numbers on my stomach!" to which Keith replied...

"You know, you keep saying all of us kids put a number on your stomach."

And all of a sudden the lightbulb went off and I asked "you all DID a number on my stomach?" to which he replied "YES!"

Priceless.

Baby didn't get the memo.

Yeah. That's all I have to say about that. 8/11/8 maybe? I give up.

I have to say

I think today would be a cool birthday. Hopefully baby agrees with me.

Well, I'm still pregnant...

Fortunately! I must be the only 41+ week pregnant woman who ever walked OUT of Labor & Delivery! I went to the chiropractor yesterday morning and was coming home when a car made a left turn in front of me. I didn't even have a chance to swerve. So I hit her head on (hit her passenger side) going about 50mph. Both the boys were with me, so we all went to the hospital. I had an ultrasound, there's a baby in there, and it has the cutest face lol. It was a regular old black & white u/s but you could see its cheeks perfectly lol. Baby looked great, placenta looked great, baby was reactive.... OB on call was chomping at the bit to induce me but couldn't give me a reason other than I was REALLY pregnant, so in the end after talking to the midwife and her talking to the OB I went home. I'm REALLY sore, but other than that pretty good considering. I pulled some ligaments in my pelvis and can barely walk which REALLY SUCKS seeing as I should have a baby one of these days, but I'm thoroughly convinced I will be pregnant forever now, since a freaking car accident didn't even put me into labor!!!! The boys were both fine - a bit shaken up and they both have marks from the carseats, but nothing major.

And now for my PSA: CARSEATS ARE REALLY IMPORTANT!!!!! Even if your kids are on the bigger side and could get by with not being in a carseat, err on the side of caution. Everything that was in the backseat (ie cups, toys, random kid crap) hit the windshield, but the carseats kept the kids exactly where they needed to be. And remember, they expire after a certain amount of time (around 5 years). And, they need to be install correctly (for those of you in the area - the state troopers at Avondale Barracks will check your carseat installation for free). So, if you have kids, check your carseats :) And when you wreck, you need to go buy NEW ones. Fortunately we have a couple extra ones in the basement!

Happy Due Date!

Well. Who would have thought that I'd still be here, pregnant. Well, actually, I figure I had a 50/50 chance seeing as Keith was late and Henry was early, but still. There should be a rule about kids coming before their due date - if one is going to do it, the rest need to follow suite. None of this 42 weeks, 39 weeks, 40 weeks and counting crap. And since only 5% of women have their babies ON their actual due dates, I'm not going to hold my breath that this one is going to be arriving today. So maybe I'll come up with a project today. Err, read that as maybe I'll come up with a project for EDWARD to do and I'll supervise. That sounds good to me! A few weeks ago we painted my room and Henry's room, and the other day we had the bathroom worked on (the sink was shot).... unfortunately I'm running out of rooms to paint. At least, rooms that I'm motivated to paint. Or we could always clean - with a husband and two boys you KNOW my house is never showroom perfect (you can stop laughing now, mom). Or we could just go walk around the mall. Again. Or just watch videos on YouTube...

The Word of the Day (er, month)...

Thoughts from a five year old

Keith is really exciting about seeing this baby be born. He still won't let us forget that he "didn't get to see Henry come out" (because he was with my parents eating SUSHI - not a bad alternative!), and he is definitely seeing this one come out. He has turned down a trip to Wyoming with my parents, a birthday party invitation, and multiple play dates because "my mom is having a baby and I am going to be there." Dedicated, huh? So I was having some contractions the other day that wouldn't go away, so I figured while this probably WASN'T going to end up with a baby (I was right!), I should make sure every thing is sorted out in case it did. I asked Keith "if the baby comes tonight, do you want to be here or would you rather go to grandma's house?" He thought about it, and decided to stay. Why? Not just to see the baby come out, but "mom, I can't wait to see if it comes head first or feet first!" BITE YOUR TONGUE CHILD!!!!!!

Bellycasting!

It's July!

I can officially say that I am due this month now! Granted, not until the END of the month, but who's being particular? I had my homevisit with the midwives yesterday and it was pretty uneventful. Good bp, good sounding baby... head down baby, which is even better. So now we wait until the baby decides it wants to make its appearance. I just have to put away some baby clothes and diapers and vacuum and we'll be good to go! What am I going to do with THREE kids?!?

I'm due in 30 days

That's not very many days at all. So I decided that I should really get my act together, since I've done nothing since the last time I decided to get my act together. Fortunately this isn't my first child, so I know what I need and what I don't, and the 'what I need' list is pretty short. I have to get the supplies for the homebirth (note to self - look at the list of supplies I need!), the clothes and diapers from my mom, the car cleaned out, the carseat installed... I think that's it. But I feel like I'm forgetting something really important. Diapers, carseat.... what else would I need? Oh, and a short list of possible names might be a good thing. I think I can get all this done relatively soon, especially if I put my mind to it! So hold me accountable, PLEASE!

Speaking of the Business of Being Born and the AMA

I just got this in my email! Seems like Ricki Lake has been scaring the AMA - go figure!

June 18, 2008

Dear BOBB Friends and Supporters:

We wanted to make sure you are all aware of the news story that has exploded over the last 24 hours regarding the recent AMA Resolution against homebirth and Ricki's response to being named in it.

In February of this year, one month after the premiere of BOBB, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) reiterated its long-standing opposition to home births. In an obtuse reference to The Business of Being Born, ACOG stated, "Childbirth decisions should not be dictated or influenced by what's fashionable, trendy, or the latest cause célèbre." If that wasn't enough, ACOG, this past weekend, introduced a resolution to the American Medical Association (AMA) at their annual meeting. The resolution commits the AMA to "develop model legislation in support of the concept that the safest setting for labor, delivery, and the immediate post-partum period is in the hospital...". The reasoning for this resolution begins, "Whereas, There has been much attention in the media by celebrities having home deliveries, with recent Today Show headings such as "Ricki Lake takes on baby birthing industry: Actress and former talk show host shares her at-home delivery in new film...". (Resolution 205).

Since when did Ricki become an evidence-based data point? What are they so afraid of?

Just last week, Medical News Today reports that "about 8.2% of infants born in the US in 2005 had low birth weights, the highest percentage since 1968." US infant mortality rates continue to rank us below 30 other countries, 22% of pregnancies are induced, and most worrisome of all, in the last 4 years, the maternal mortality rate has risen above 10 per 100,000 for the first time since 1977. To us, these seem like the troubling trends, not home birth.

News outlets including the AP quickly picked up this story yesterday as it hit TMZ, E! USA Today, Daily News, FOX.

Ricki will be featured on Good Morning America this Saturday discussing the controversy. (If you Google "Ricki Lake, AMA" you will see the bloggers are all over this!)

Filmmakers Abby Epstein and Ricki Lake teamed up with journalist and Pushed author Jennifer Block to pen the response (following at the end of this email) for the Huffington Post.

Late yesterday, the AMA changed the final wording on resolution 205 to omit the mention of Ricki. (Hmmm...) The AMA says that the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) drafted the initial statement so any issues should be taken up directly with them.

Stay tuned for more news to come...

The BOBB Team



DOCS TO WOMEN: PAY NO ATTENTION TO RICKI LAKE'S HOME BIRTH

Ladies, the physicians of America have issued their decree: they don't want you having your babies at home with midwives.

We can't imagine why not. Study upon study have shown that planning a home birth with a trained midwife is a great choice if you want to avoid unnecessary medical intervention. Midwives are experts in supporting the physiological birth process: monitoring you and your baby during labor, helping you into positions that help labor progress, protecting your pelvic parts from damage while you push, and "catching" the baby from the position that's most effective and comfortable for you-hands and knees, squatting, even standing-not the position most comfortable for her.

When healthy women are supported this way, 95% give birth vaginally, with hardly any intervention.

And yet, the American Medical Association doesn't see the point. Yesterday it adopted a policy written by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists against "home deliveries" and in support of legislation "that helps ensure safe deliveries and healthy babies by acknowledging that the safest setting for labor, delivery, and the immediate post-partum period is in the hospital" or accredited birth center.

"There ought to be a law!" cry the doctors.

The trouble is, they have no evidence to back up their safety claims. In fact, the largest and most rigorous study of home birth internationally to date found that among 5,000 healthy, "low-risk" women, babies were born just as safely at home under a midwife's care as in the hospital. And not only that, the study, like many before it, found that the women actually fared better at home, with far fewer interventions like labor induction, cesarean section, and episiotomy (taking scissors to the vagina, a practice that according to the research should be obsolete but is still performed on one-third of women who give birth vaginally).

Which is why the American Public Health Association supports midwife-attended home birth. The British OB/GYNs have read the research, too, and have this to say: "There is no reason why home birth should not be offered to women at low risk of complications... it may confer considerable benefits for them and their families. There is ample evidence showing that labouring at home increases a woman's likelihood of a birth that is both satisfying and safe"

The other trouble with the American MDs is that they seem to have lost all respect for women's civil rights, indeed for the U.S. Constitution - the right to privacy, to bodily integrity, and the right of every adult to determine her own health care. The "father knows best" legislation they are promoting could indeed be used to criminally prosecute women who choose home birth, say, by equating it with child abuse.

Research evidence be damned, the doctors want to mandate you to go to the hospital. They don't want you to have a choice.

We think they're spooked. The cesarean rate is rising, celebrities are publicizing their home births (the initial wording of the AMA resolution actually took aim at Ricki for publicizing her home birth on the Today Show!), people are reading Pushed and watching The Business of Being Born, and there's a nationwide legislative "push" to license certified professional midwives in all states (The AMA is against that, too, by the way).

The docs are on the defensive.

After all, birth is big business-it's in fact the most common reason for a woman to be admitted to the hospital. And if more women start giving birth outside of it, who will get paid? Not doctors and not hospitals.

"The AMA supports a woman's right to make an informed decision regarding her delivery and to choose her health care provider," the group said in a statement. But if it really supported women's birth choices it wouldn't adopt a policy condemning home birth and midwives.

Because if U.S. women are to have real birth choices, everybody needs to be working together to provide them, not engaging in turf wars at their expense.

By Ricki Lake, Abby Epstein and Jennifer Block for The Huffington Post

The Business of Being Born

I thought I had posted about this, but all I can find is a mention of the screening that the Birth Fund put on back in November. So, I guess I DIDN'T really post about it! Go figure. Anyways. If you're pregnant, thinking about becoming pregnant, have a wife/girlfriend/daughter who is pregnant, you need to watch this movie. It's the documentary by Ricki Lake which just came out on DVD not too long ago. If you're in the area, I know someone you could borrow it from (hint hint). Or, if you are one of the unfortunate people who do not have a Mac, you can watch it on demand or whatever they call it on Netflix. Or add it to your Netflix queue. Anyways, my point is, WATCH IT!!!! It's not just a movie trying to convince people to have their babies at home. It's a movie about the sad state of maternity care in the US. And trust me, it is one sad state.

I think it finally hit me

I'm pregnant. Scratch that, I'm REALLY pregnant. In a couple months or so, I'm going to be having a baby! Do you know what I've done for this impending arrival? You got it - zilch. Nada, nothing, not a thing. Heck, all of our baby crap is still in the attic at the old house. Maybe I should get my act together so I don't pull a "well, I think the diapers are in the attic still" when the midwife asks like I did the last time. Hmm.

And back to the ranting and raving

Well, I'm actually not going to rant and rave, at least not *TOO* much. I just have a question - if you were going to spend $10,000 on something, would you want the person you were paying to listen to you and respect your wishes? Or would you rather they just said "you hired me, I'm the expert, it's my way or the highway"? Really, I'm curious. Give me your perspective - I'm sure you can guess as to what my answer would be, but I know I'm a bit different from everyone else in the world! So, thoughts? Anyone?