Are cribs really THAT yummy?

So Henry has found a new teether. His CRIB. The rails, to be exact. Now, I'm all about letting kids explore and all that jazz, but I'm going to have to draw the line at eating the crib. What if we have more kids?!? Where will they sleep?!? And besides, getting your child up from a nap and having to pull paint chips out of his mouth is just not cool. I'm sure my mother would call CPS if she knew. So I went to Amazon. Trusty old Amazon. And first I found this. I don't know about you, but the reviews mentioning crazy glue worried me a bit. I mean, isn't it, I don't know, TOXIC?? As in, DON'T USE NEAR CHILDREN AND PETS? Yeah. So I kept searching. And found this. Much better. You can even attach toys to it! Now, I'm taking bets as to how long it'll stay on the crib before Henry figures out that there's yummy paint chips under it. Or I break out the crazy glue.